Co-option Application: Wesley Wombleton
An open email to the DTB - because we believe transparency never sleeps
Every great democratic movement begins with a bold first step. Ours begins with Wesley Wombleton emailing the Dons Trust Board to ask for a co-option before anyone else remembers the vacancy exists.
Some people climb mountains. Some write constitutions. Some stare deeply into the DT kiosk rota until it stares back.
We all fight our battles in different ways.
And so, in the spirit of transparency, we proudly present Wesley’s application.
Whether the Board accepts him is irrelevant. What matters is that he tried. And that we hit publish before the Board mysteriously announces the seat has already been filled by “someone with the right skillset”.
Dear DTB,
I hope this email finds you well, or at least finds you in a state where a co-option request won’t trigger another three-hour discussion about process, precedent, or whether all Members or only Discord Members should be involved.
I am writing to formally offer myself, Wesley Wombleton, as a willing, capable, and dangerously enthusiastic volunteer to be co-opted into Simon Hood’s recently vacated seat.
Given the Board’s habit of filling co-option slots within roughly four minutes of identifying a skills gap, I thought I’d get in early before the Board instinctively appoints another accountant, another comms expert, or another person who has been writing a constitution in their spare room.
I am extremely qualified. Highlights include:
I can read minutes without crying.
I already know how to enter the Legends Lounge without becoming trapped in a throng of members asking about 50+1.
I can instinctively tell when a board member is about to resign simply from the cadence of their preamble.
IAAAEAMUA (I am also an expert at making up acronyms). It’s a particular skill I have, I can make them clear to understand and easy to remember.
I also bring a vital skill the DTB has lacked ever since Sean stopped doing metaphors in his Chair’s updates: the ability to say “no” quickly. Think of the time saved.
If selected, I will commit to:
Not resigning until at least the second meeting.
Not liking tweets that annoy club staff.
Providing moral support to George and Reece, who have seen things nobody should see.
This is serious
Please treat this as a fully serious co-option application, despite the obvious evidence that it absolutely should not be.
I look forward to your response, which will either be:
A) “Thank you, Wesley, we’ll discuss this at the next meeting,”
B) “No,”
or
C) “We accidentally co-opted someone else while replying to you.”
Warmest regards,
Wesley Wombleton
Acting Deputy Assistant Shadow Interim Co-Optable Member-at-Large (Self-Appointed)