The WombleWorld Cup - Part 1

In which every nation at the 2026 World Cup is assigned an AFC Wimbledon or Wimbledon FC, and each match is settled by a method of our choosing.

Somebody had to do it.

FIFA has expanded the World Cup to forty-eight teams and a hundred and four matches, a tournament so large it requires three host nations and a working knowledge of which time zone Guadalajara is in. The official broadcasters will cover it with supercomputers, expected-goals models, and a man in a suit gesturing at a green screen.

W…