The WAWF Pub Quiz: WombleWorld’s official report.
By WombleWorld (attending anonymously, allegedly)
We went. We blended in. We even bought a raffle ticket. The first ever We Are Wimbledon Fund Pub Quiz at The Alexandra (WAWFPQ@TA) was an evening of trivia, beer, and tension so thick you could spread it on a scotch egg.
All proceeds went to the men’s first-team playing budget, which, based on the turnout, should now comfortably cover the left boot of a back-up wing back.
Arrival
The Alex was packed tighter than the minutes of a closed DTB meeting. Mick “Scores on the Dores” Dore stood at the front, clutching a mic and looking like a man who’d once been forced to host a quiz in a power cut. Spirits were high. Lager levels were higher. Eight teams were shooting for the title, and for the glory of being the inaugural winners.
Our team name caused mild confusion during registration: W Double W dot substack dot C-O-M forward slash at WombleWorld. The perfect disguise, hidden in plain sight. It was disqualified after Mick realised it was technically an advert but reinstated when everyone agreed it wasn’t a very good one.
Round One: General Knowledge
The early questions were friendly: “Who scored at Wembley in 2016?” Easy. But by question four, Mick had gone full Machiavelli. “Name three AFC Wimbledon CEOs or Managing Directors who’ve resigned?” caused even the most ardent fan to rack their brains.
Round Two: The Sammy Mac Music Round
Then came folk hero Sammy Mac, the quiz’s musical interlude and emotional core. Armed with a guitar and a smile, he launched into Guess the Chant. Teams had to identify which song had been converted into a terrace anthem.
Seven Nation Army was straightforward. Take Me Home, Country Roads caused scenes. A bonus point was awarded for correctly identifying Jake Reeves © (You’re the One) as a deep cut from the 2023/24 season.
Sammy’s encore - a mournful acoustic version of We Are Wimbledon - had Graham Stacey in tears, overwhelmed with emotion.
Round Three: Picture Round
A gallery of blurry faces. “Name these club legends,” Mick announced. We got Bayzo immediately (the aura of sage and candle wax gave him away). We thought one was Terry Skiverton but it turned out to be a wheelie bin.
Across the room, The Ancient Isthmians (a gang of WUP posters old enough to remember the day Dickie Guy was legally allowed to buy his first pint) were holding court. Out of touch and gloriously stuck in their ways, they spent most of the picture round muttering that the DTB team refusing to cross the room to help them with the answers was “yet more proof that power corrupts.” They scored modestly, mainly because their intra-team arguments and answer sheets ran long and off-topic.
The Other Rival Tables
The Dons Trust Board entered under the team name The Restricted Actions. They spent most of the quiz tabling amendments to their own answers.
The Proxy Voters insisted on casting their answers by email in advance without any team discussion or debate.
Reece Wheeler-Kelly’s Compliance Unit refused to start until everyone had signed a GDPR disclaimer and agreed to their 5 rules of “how to be nice”.
The Has-Bins the ex-players’ team including Micky Haswell asked if the first round counted as a warm-up, and then spent the rest of the night arguing over whether Paul Robinson’s raffle shirt was a replica or match worn. They didn’t win, but they did take the pub record for “most pints per point.”
The Craig Cope Appreciation Society left halfway through to scout the next fundraiser.
The Raffle
The raffle list read like an inventory of Ray Armfield’s loft. Signed shirts, signed footballs, framed Lyle Taylor art, a Paul Robinson relic still faintly radiating 2016, and bafflingly a one-year WombleWorld+ subscription.
When Mick drew that one, the room fell silent. A long, confused silence. Then someone at the bar whispered, “Is that a real thing?” Mick confirmed it was indeed an online newsletter. One bloke then leapt up and shouted, “I already subscribe for free!” before realising what he’d just admitted.
The “prize” was won by none other than ████ ████ from Tooting (name redacted because we take data protection very seriously). Congratulations Gary, you are one of life’s winners.
Final Round and Aftermath
The final tie-breaker was brutal: “How many active working groups exist across both boards?” Nobody knew. One team answered “five,” another “none,” and one wrote “depends who’s resigned this week.”
The overall winners: Silly Old Wombles took home victory and a framed 1988 Wembley print after confidently reeling off the hosts of every AFC Wimbledon fan podcast, including one that hasn’t even been recorded yet.
They celebrated with pints, chants, and a philosophical discussion about whether quiz glory was compatible with fan ownership.
Closing Thoughts
Mick raised a final toast “to everyone who keeps the club going,” and the room erupted in applause. For once, everyone including DTB, fans, volunteers, and serial complainers was on the same side.
By the end, the pub was running low on lager, the raffle sheets were soaked in nostalgia, and someone had already posted about governance transparency for the raffle tickets bought online.
So there you have it, our totally accurate, 100% not made up report about the WAWFPQ@TA, in full, with fewer redactions than the DTB WhatsApp group.
And then we slipped away quietly, our cover intact, clutching a half-finished pint and the faint hope that next year’s quiz might fund a striker and the Wi-Fi in the South Stand.
WombleWorld – definitely not there, definitely not impartial, and definitely banned from future raffles.