We’re Not Going To Talk About…
An SGM preview
This is our preview for the November Dons Trust SGM.
And before anyone asks: no, we’re not going to go through the draft constitution line by line like a group of self-appointed governance experts who believe democracy is only democracy when the outcomes are what we want them to be.
We’re not going to talk about the DTB using the FSA model rules as a template and then confidently wandering away from them on a few of the more exciting clauses like a toddler leaving a supermarket queue for no discernible reason.
We’re also not going to talk about the DTB’s new anti-youth-engagement policy where members must be old enough to buy a pint of San-Miguel before they can have a view on fan ownership.
We’re definitely not going to talk about the Board giving itself the power to reject new members based on “ethos,” which is governance code for “vibes we liked at the time.”
We are absolutely not going to avoid talking about the DTB caving in to the loud minority about changing the number of seconders needed for member resolutions before the SGM discussion has even been allowed to take place.
And finally, we’re not going to talk about how “Dave Boyle : constitutional expert” is almost an anagram of “A Bylaw Context: Deplore Unto Evil”.
No.
We’re not doing any of that.
We are not going to be serious, balanced or dutiful members of a responsible society.
We are not going to “engage constructively.”
We are not going to “scrutinise the draft document.”
Instead, we are publishing the WombleWorld Constitution Consultation.
We are consulting with ourselves, and we will make all the changes we like.
Your feedback is welcomed in the comments, then politely ignored.
And if the DTB can have a constitution, then by Haydon, so can we.
You can find our full constitution via the link below but for sensible readers the shortened version is in this article. We haven’t left anything critically important out - we promise…
The WombleWorld Constitution (abridged for readers with lives)
1. Name
1.1 The name of this organisation shall be WombleWorld, hereafter referred to as “WombleWorld.”
2. Registered Office
2.1 Wherever the Editor finds coffee strong enough to continue.
3. Objects
The objects of WombleWorld shall be to carry on mischief for the benefit of the community and also the profit of its members by:
3.1 Being the anti-semi-democratic and occasionally representative voice of sensible supporters who want fewer arguments and more jokes.
3.2 Achieving the greatest possible supporter influence in the running and mental survival of following AFC Wimbledon.
3.3 Being an inclusive organisation open to all supporters regardless of age, income, ethnicity, gender, or how many times they’ve shouted “ MORE PASSION” at Johnnie Jackson in the street.
3.4 Furthering the development of fan culture nationally and upholding its rules, which are mainly: don’t be a dickhead, and don’t mention MK.
4. Powers
WombleWorld has the power to:
4.1 Publish satire, criticism, parody, match reports and rage therapy.
4.2 Raise funds through donations, stickers, or guilt trips
4.3 Do anything else lawful and/or funny that is necessary to accomplish our objectives.
4.4 To do anything else that seems amusing at the time.
5. Membership
5.1 Membership is open to anyone who:
Supports the Club, supports complaining about the Club or doesn’t support the Club
Agrees to take an active interest in WombleWorld and retweet our posts at least once per month
Is NOT required to be over 18, because we’re not scared of youth engagement.
is under the age of 88 because we are scared of engaging with old people.
5.2 Annual Fee: £0 (unless you choose WombleWorld+ in a moment of weakness).
5.3 One imaginary share each; Wesley Wombleton gets two just because.
5.4 The WombleWorld Editor may refuse membership to anyone who does not align with the ethos of humour, kindness, and mild cynicism. This includes people who posts “not funny” under jokes or who are mean to the writer’s Mum.
5.5 Termination
Membership ends if:
A member unsubscribes
A member dies inside while listening to Wombles Had a Dream
A member refuses to laugh ever again;
A member becomes a self-appointed constitutional and governance expert with no sense of irony.
A member posts conspiracy theories about the DTB secretly being competent.
6. The Board (of Editors)
6.1 Consists of between 1 and 2 people.
6.2 Terms last until any editor has had enough and quits.
6.3 Decisions by instinct, caffeine, or coin toss. Alternatively after lengthy debate and discussion with a vote on any decision taken after the article has been published.
Board Policies
6.4 The Board may adopt policies, by-laws, or half-written plans.
6.5 All such policies are not and will never be available upon request.
Decisions
6.6 Decisions are made by majority vote
6.7 Meetings require 50% attendance (i.e. one person).
Termination
6.8 Editors may be suspended for being too serious.
6.9 Suspension lasts until they remember this is meant to be fun.
7. General Meetings
7.1 Held digitally, physically, or accidentally.
7.2 Quorum equals whichever is lower: active WUP posters or Bayzo’s candle count.
AGM
7.4 The AGM shall be held bi-annually.
7.5 Business includes reviewing the year, awarding Womble of the Year, and signing off of the Annual Accounts
SGMs
7.6 SGMs may be called by the Board at its discretion or by 105% of readers.
7.7 At least zero SGMs shall occur per calendar year
8. Finance
8.1 WombleWorld will not produce Annual Accounts.
8.2 No auditor shall be appointed, ever.
8.3 Surplus goes to WombleWorld, DLAG, or Wesley Wombleton’s season ticket fund.
So there you have it - well done for reading this far. You are absolutely the kind of reader who should be spreading the news about WombleWorld with your friends. Which you can do here - thank you we appreciate it.
WombleWorld